So, now for my upbeat, inspirational story. The relationship that saved my life. The one who recognised I was not okay, helped me seek the help and treatment I needed, gave me her home and her ears, her shoulder to cry on, her heart – her everything. I call her my angel. That person is my auntie.
I have always been close with her, she’s more like an older sister to me than anything. Being just 7 years apart in age and being so ridiculously similar, we make the perfect partners in crime!
Last year she recognised that I really needed help. I was going to overdose. I had already started, but my parents saw me taking tablets up to my room.
She took me away from the situation and kindly let me stay with her for a while, and God I needed it. I needed to get away, and she looked after me, helped take my mind off things. She got me into counselling, and eventually I got started on antidepressants. I self harmed, and constantly thought of killing myself, everyday. I wasn’t myself.
But, being so close, I could tell her what I was feeling, and she’d know I wasn’t in the right headspace. She knew exactly the right words to say, what to do, and just help and be there for me. I’ve never had that before.
I had a really unsupportive boyfriend at the time, who always made me feel worse about taking medication to get better, but it helped me. Never, ever feel bad for taking antidepressants if they help you. Do not feel ashamed. You are strong and brave for seeking the help and trying to get better; don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. I mean it.
My auntie essentially saved my life last year, and continues to do so. We understand each other, and she’s the first person I go to when I feel like I’m losing control. Sometimes I don’t, I’ll admit, because I still get that feeling of being a burden, and I know she has her own shit too and I don’t wanna add to it.
But that doesn’t matter. We’re family. And I wouldn’t be here today without her. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her; she is one of the nicest, helpful, bravest person I have ever met. I love her to pieces.
If you have someone like that in your life, you’ll understand. Good, healthy relationships are everything. They can be life saving. Reach out now, even if you feel like you’ll be a burden. I guarantee that person will just be happy you did, and that you chose them to confide in, and do anything they can to be there for you.