Anxiety · depression · Illness · mental health · relationships · Uncategorized

Fake It Till You Make It

I bottle up my feelings. I’m told not too. 

I fear saying how I feel. Yet I’m encouraged too. 

I’m told talking helps. Opening up to someone you trust. 

Not to hide your feelings. 

A few days ago I opened up and admitted to one person that I was struggling and wasn’t in a good place. 

That message got ignored.

They told me the next day they didn’t know how to respond to it, so chose to ignore it.

That hurt. Relationships are built on good communication. So when I reached out and was met with a cold, dead, silence, it made me think. 

Maybe my feelings don’t matter. Maybe I need to stop talking about how I feel and put on a happy fucking front to make everyone’s life easier. Put how I’m doing to the side and act like I’m great and everything’s great even though I’m so close to falling off the edge.

No one cares. 

They say ‘fake it till you make it.’ 

I see that now.

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